A ten year old girl
stood in the alleyway
in white buckled sandals
that made her feel too tall—
like someone twelve not ten
like someone more carefree,
sandals for a girl who could just
be a girl and not—
one begging her mother not
to walk away,
pleading her only parent to stop
going farther down
into the alleyway dark.
Heels slightly wobble and tilt
on bare red ankles
on ten year old legs
always ready to run.
4-20-13
(Originally published in Disorder: Mental Illness and Its Affects)
In the spirit of Christmas, I decided to put together a new chapbook from many of the poems I had published in 2014 for my friends and family. The title comes from the first poem in the book, “Love Letter No. 1: To My Pit-Bull Self”. Most people don’t know how mathematically my mind actually operates. At the same time, I rely on my intuition daily. I do not see them as contradicting. I see it as an automatic calculated procedure, or algorithm, my brain carries out to make many decisions the same way we breathe without having to tell ourselves to breathe. I have grown to depend on this more and more as I have Life less and less planned out. The cover art, by the ridiculously talented Fernando Gallegos, is a spiral staircase which also has mathematical meaning and beauty.
It’s a small chapbook with only 28 pages. I have some limited edition copies with a vellum-layered cover available by special request or in person. The perfect bound, matte cover version will be available through the Sadie Girl Press website soon.
Issue #2 of In-Flight Literary Magazine is now available for your viewing pleasure! I am very pleased to have two poems I am especially fond of included, “Paper Airplane” and “Gill Growing”. The feature poet of this issue is fellow Gutters & Alleyways contributor, Anthony Khayat. In addition to poetry, this site also features fiction pieces. Take some time and read some creative work with your new year. Get inspired and send them some of your own for the next issue!
I am thrilled to have two poems, “Yellow” and “Fruit of Your Offspring”, in the new issue of the completely revamped online journal Elsewhere Lit. They have poetry, prose, and visual art to please the eyes and heart. Take a few minutes to check out this gorgeous site ran by Nandini Dhar and others. Includes work by my friend and Cadence poet, J.D. Isip.
I take you with me
like a chain around my wrist
I took you through security
brought you to England
and on the bus to Wales
I pushed you up my arm
with bangles clinking soft
I went to Ireland to forget
the sound of your low voice
in every hotel you wait
for me to sleep without you
under pillow-white comforters
and clouds under roads
of endless miles and miles
I change my nightshirt
I change my long pants
but I find you there
in the bottom of my shoes
I met a poet who married an artist
after years and years of not
their deep folds of white skin
stinks of my undreamt dreams
I count the days unhad
in the cracks of aging stones
in ancient Scottish castles
dissolving like dead paper
black and grey and brown
they all eat like you
knives leading forks
in sway and swoon
painting food on plates
but only in reverse
pinks follow greens
orange and tan rising up
leaving only empty white
five thousand miles
two hundred days
I can’t dilute you out
filling red wine with water
flowing over the rim
I see you in the gift shop
and in the hotel shower
I leave without you
touching my own skin
brushing my own hair
I am whole without you
like a lone cathedral tower
gray stones on stones
without walls or ceilings
for centuries it stands
without congregation
or faithful believers
still, it stands without you
First appeared in The Mayo Review (2014), also in All the Tiny Anchors
I’m very excited about this new store that just opened called MADE in LB. It features local products from small merchants and artisans in Long Beach. They are also going to have in-store events! Gatsby Books, our favorite indie bookstore, will have a booth there early next year when they officially open. In the meantime, they will have a holiday showcase of local merchants and Gatsby’s monthly storytelling showcase, Speakeasy, will be held there on Wednesday, December 17th at 7 pm. On top of all that, I get to do a special storytelling set of poetry specially arranged for the event. If you are in the area, come down and check out the local goodness and hear a story or two or three. There is even an open list if you have a story to tell! 236 Pine Ave, Long Beach.
I am honored to have my poem, “My Friends Who Write Poetry”, included in this gorgeous journal, Uno Kudo Vol. 4. This journal pairs poetry and prose with stunning color images created by artists for the work. Also in this volume are the amazing Larry Duncan, Danielle Mitchell, and Erin Parker. You can get you hands on your own copy by finding this issue on Amazon.
It’s always dusk or dawn
in my memory. When I open my eyes,
she smiles or I see laughter in the house
though I know those days were heavy
with labor. She does laundry
in the kitchen while she cooks me eggs.
I will always eat my vegetables for her.
She always moves across this
dimly lit room. If I watch her longer,
the sun must go down. It gets
very dark for days, dark for years.
I can hear her hum, though I never
remembered her humming.
I am so small and hate to have
my hair brushed. She is every
thing that connects me
to this earth. She gives me
folded clothes to put away: my rainbow
t-shirt sparkling glitter in my hands.
Her long straight hair is perfect,
a hippie part down the middle,
always pulled back in a loose ponytail.
I remember plants in the window sills,
long green and yellow leaves.
I don’t remember how
she cared for them.
She cleans other
people’s houses, burns
her hands on the chemicals.
I will climb her ladders,
I will hold her razor blades
on my fingertips. No one
will notice these scars until I show them.
4-26-14
First published in East Jasmine Review.
My poetry partner, Nancy Lynée Woo, was interviewed recently by Maxine Thompson on Artists First. She talks about the press we co-founded, Lucid Moose Lit, and the anthology Gutters & Alleyways (also being featured at the reading I co-host next Monday at Gatsby Books). She explains how we collaborated on the project and our mutual experiences on poverty. She also does a beautiful job reading a poem I wrote for the anthology, “Why I Can’t Kill Daddy Long Legs Hiding in My Shower Curtain”. Listen to the interview and learn a bit more about our poetry partnership and press.
The newest issue of East Jasmine Review, Vol. 2 Issue 3, includes a wonderful book review by K. Andrew Turner of All the Tiny Anchors. Two of them poems in the book, “Words in Stone and Liquid” and “The Truth of My Skin” were first published in EJR earlier this year. I am deeply honored that Mr. Turner wrote such generous words about the book. He covers each of the four sections to show the story arch. He also quotes specific lines from the poems to illustrate his points, which makes it feel so much more personal. Please check out all the issues of East Jasmine Review. (They are all currently on sale for less that coffee at Starbucks!)
If you’d like to get our own copy of All the Tiny Anchors, you can buy it directly from Sadie Girl Press or find it on Amazon.
Sarah Thursday 