I can't keep not sleeping at night I can't keep letting all those open cupboard doors pull my shoulder blades I can't keep hoping for that miracle change black tea into coffee and cream I can't keep recycling those words said and unsaid replies and responses never meet resolution I can't keep my head full of bees whispering why it doesn't matter it never matters I can't keep eating the edges of my cuticles it won't grow flat I can't keep my ear to my gut it's holding on to a secret I'm listening it's not telling I can't keep waiting by the phone waiting for that email to make it right it will never be right I can't keep saying I don't mind I get it-I understand I don't I can't keep not surrendering to anything since the switch flipped it got broke I can't switch it back I can't keep a single person as ideal as I have loved them stop idealizing I can't keep all the names off my lips they push out daily hourly I form them my mouth aches I can't keep this pencil moving its eraser is shrinking there's more mistakes to make I can't keep presuming the road's closed my feet are swelling until it hurts to walk but I walk anyway I can't keep listening to the air in my lungs rub against my nostrils I hear myself living I need to be sleeping 4-16-13 First Published in Something’s Brewing, Kind of a Hurricane Press (April 2014)
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